Thank you all for coming and welcome to my Big Fat Positive Pregnancy Test Party. Before we start the festivities , I would like give a few shout outs and say a few thank you’s to some of the key players in tonight’s big event.
First of all, thank you to my ovaries for loosening your death grip on my eggs last month and allowing one (or possibly two) of them the taste of victory and sweet freedom. I understand how entertaining it must be to keep them on hand and see the interesting shapes they mutate into as they age. This must have been a huge sacrifice and I do appreciate it.
Next, I would like to give a big shout out to Husband’s sperm. Way to go fellas. I do realize that you have always been on your game, even when those bitch eggs were playing coy, so I appreciate the way you saw this through to the end. Lesser sperm would have thrown up their tails and walked away from this often one-sided grudge match, but not you. You boys are scrappers. Nice work.
And finally, a huge thank you to the Universe for making sure that Husband’s time off and my prime baby making days occurred simultaneously. It was totally unplanned but I tell you, no stress, no fatigue and LOTS of spare time…..I don’t think a better conception cocktail exists.
And thus concludes the floor show. There is an open bar at the back so knock yourselves out. I , of course, will be abstaining, although I can honestly say I have never wanted a beer more.
Cheers and thanks.
No comments:
Post a Comment